Mrs Liew, 44 yrs, mother of two

Translated from original text below

Title: Metamorphosis

Just over a month before my daughter’s A-levels, she was busy preparing for her exams. It was just like usual for me, a mom who was trying her best to take care of the family’s daily needs in the background. But one day in September, she came home from school, stayed in her bedroom for a short while and suddenly, walked out with tears streaming down her face saying, “Mum, can you take me to see a doctor please? I’ve actually not been feeling good for a long time. I always feel like there is no purpose in living and I don’t wish to live anymore.” She also suspected that she might have been having depression for a while. When I heard this, I felt momentarily lost and could only say, “Yes, yes, let’s go to see a doctor.”

I hurriedly approached my friend to ask for help and advice on how I can find such a doctor. My friend came over to comfort my daughter and accompanied us to see a psychiatrist the next day. The psychiatrist who saw my daughter said that she did not require any medication or hospitalisation, but suggested to refer us to a community counsellor. My daughter was highly against the idea and rejected it. At this point, my friend said she could recommend a counsellor to me. This counsellor had helped her a lot before and perhaps I could give her a try, so I agreed and approached Eiling.

When I first saw Eiling, I felt that even though she was petite sized, her eyes reflected an inner calm and strength. She spoke to my daughter for almost two hours, and after that, reassured me and gave me some tips on things to watch out and how to better communicate with my daughter. I asked my daughter how she felt about it and she said the session had been helpful. Most importantly, she was willing to continue the therapy with Eiling. Subsequently, after each therapy session, we could feel her improvement. From the beginning when she had refused to attend school, her mood swings gradually stabilised and she managed to successfully complete her A-Levels. Her relationship with us, parents, was also much better than before. She was open and willing to share much more about herself. A short while after A-Levels, she even took the initiative to find work outside, saying that she wants to earn some money to reduce the burden on us. The length of each therapy session had reduced to one hour each time, from once a week to once in a fortnight. Last week, Eiling informed me that my daughter is doing very well and no only requires therapy every fortnight, only a follow-up sometime later. Upon hearing this, I felt an immense relief and cried tears of happiness! I felt so grateful to Eiling for her help! Thinking back on how despondent my daughter was just a while ago and those sleepless nights of feeling scared and worried about her, I am so glad that those days are over.

My daughter is now cheerful, enthusiastic and positive. Besides our own efforts, it can be mostly credited to Eiling for her meticulous care in counselling. I thank her from the bottom of my heart for changing our lives.

Original text in Chinese

蜕变
离女儿A level 还剩一个多月。看她每天忙碌地复习备考,我也一如既往地尽量做好后勤工作。可就在九月下旬的一天,她放学回家后在房间呆了一会儿后突然泪流满面地走出来对我说:“妈妈,你带我去看心理医生好吗?我最近一直心情不好,总觉得活着没意思,不想活了。”然后她说她一直觉得自己有抑郁症,听到她这么讲,我一时六神无主,连声说好好,我们去找医生看。

安抚了一下她的情绪,我赶紧找朋友咨询看心理医生的途径,热心的朋友过来帮我安抚了一下女儿,然后第二天带我们去看了心理医生。医生帮女儿看了后,说她的情况不需要吃药和住院,需要心理辅导员做心理疏导。医院给我们介绍了社区的辅导员,可是女儿很抗拒,不肯去。正在我不知所措的时候,朋友又说可以帮我介绍一位辅导员试试。说她很擅长这方面的心理辅导,帮到过很多人。于是抱着试试看的心态,我们接触到了伊玲女士。

初见伊玲女士,娇小玲珑的身材,但是眼神却给人一份非常镇定的力量。和女儿沟通两个小时后,她和我讲了一下女儿的情况,让我不要太担心,也叮嘱了我一些和女儿相处的正确方式以及注意事项。我问起女儿感觉如何,她也说感觉有帮助到她,并且愿意继续接受辅导。每一次的辅导后,我们都能感受到女儿的变化,她的情绪慢慢稳定,从刚开始的不肯去学校,到后来顺利地完成A level考试。对我们父母的态度也比以前好很多,有什么事都愿意和我们分享。完成A考后,还主动出去找工作,说要自己挣钱,给父母减轻负担。她接受辅导的时间也从之前一周一次,一次两小时慢慢减少到两周一次,一次一小时。就在上周辅导后,治疗师伊玲告诉我,女儿的情况非常好,情绪已经没有任何问题,说以后也不需要两周一次的辅导了。听到这个消息,我真的喜极而泣,从内心深深地感谢治疗师伊玲对我们的帮助。

想起女儿那时候的低落颓废,想起自己那些因为担心害怕而难熬无眠的夜晩,终于都过去了。现在女儿开朗活泼,积极向上,这一切,除了我们自己的努力,更多的是治疗师伊玲的悉心辅导,内心由衷地感谢治疗师伊玲给我们的帮助,让我们重生。”

Published by eygohcounselling

Eiling offers affordable and professional counselling service for children, adolescents and adults on issues related to loss and grief, trauma, caregiving stress, complex family situations and conflicts etc. Both home-based and centre-based service are available. She graduated with a Bachelor of Arts (B.A.) from National University of Singapore, as well as a Masters of Social Sciences (MSocSc) in Counselling in Hong Kong, where she graduated with Distinction. Her training at the Hospice and Bereavement Division of the S.K.H. Holy Carpenter Church District Elderly Community Centre had given her the chance to work with clients ranging from 9 yrs old to 87 yrs old. Eiling is a member of EMDR Singapore and a member of Singapore Association for Counselling (SAC).