How to make my child happier?

I was chatting with someone who lamented sadly to me one day, “I asked my son to rate his happiness on a scale of 1 to 10, and he said 4. Reasons were – always getting scolded, coping with school is so hard… And I just felt that childhood should not be one big, long struggle all the time… so many hours a day.” Does this sound like your child too?

Let’s take the ‘happiness scale’ one step further. My suggestion to her is this – take a ‘happiness scale’ rating every few days, or even every day. The next time he gives a low rating of 4 again, ask him one question, “What is the one thing we can do right now to increase it to 5?” Not to increase it to 8, 9, or 10, since that might cause him to be very excited and ask for the moon! But to increase by 1 on the scale.

There are two aims for this. Firstly, to see that it does not take much to make yourself feel a little better. Secondly, to see that while you do not have control over the external environment or other people (e.g. make them scold you less), you can still do something for yourself.

Suitable for: Aged 5 and above

Difficulty level: Easy

Published by eygohcounselling

Eiling offers discreet and professional home-based counselling service on issues such as loss and grief, ACP, trauma, complex family situations and conflicts etc. She graduated with a Bachelor of Arts (B.A.) in Philosophy and Sociology from National University of Singapore, as well as a Masters of Social Sciences (MSocSc) in Counselling from City University of Hong Kong where she graduated with Distinction. Her training at the Hospice and Bereavement Division of the S.K.H. Holy Carpenter Church District Elderly Community Centre had given her the chance to work with clients ranging from 9 yrs old to 87 yrs old. Eiling is a member of EMDR Singapore and a member of Singapore Association for Counselling (SAC).

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